My Shopping Addiction Almost Cost Me More Then Money
"How did this happen again?" I whispered. There I stood with unopened credit card bills that had been hidden under my bed so my husband, wouldn't find them. I felt like I was going to throw up just standing there with the bills laid out in front of me. As I opened them I was speechless. How had I spent another $ 2000 this month? Sure, I love to shop, but only once or twice a week, my husband knew it. What could I have spent that kind of money on? My husband would flip if he ever knew how out of control my spending was. He thought the only money I was spending was written in the checkbook but the reality of it all was that I only used the checkbook for what I "thought" he wouldn't rant and rave about. I felt I had no choice, I couldn't tell him because when he got upset ranting and raving could go on for hours or even days and he could spend days without even speaking to me. I have no idea what I am going to do. I'm drowning and I see no way out.
Owing $ 28,000 on credit cards is never they way to get out of debt.
As I looked at the balances of the 4 credit cards in front of me I was astonished to see that I actually owed $ 28,000. I had the bills coming to my office address so he wouldn't know the truth. This was the fourth time I had gotten into situations like this, he said if I ever did anything like this again he would leave me. What he did know was last time I did not tell him about the other two cards I still had. I just couldn't, he would have gotten even angrier and I was afraid that would be the last straw so I repeatedly assured him there were no other cards. I knew lying to him was wrong but I was so scared of what he might do. Looking back now, I see how screwed up my life was then and I think the purpose of these shopping binges was because I had no control over my life or anything else. To say I was afraid of him physically hurting me would be an overstatement but at this time he had so much control over me with verbal abuse he did have to be physical.
I was at the point that I had convinced myself that it did not make a difference because I was making a payment every month, I had convinced myself I would be able to get out of the hole I had dug for myself. My thought was that as soon as I got more money I would pay them off.
Swapping money around
I was a little concerned each time I had to get a cash advance however, each time …