Kinsey established that the clitoris was the female sex organ. But it has not been accepted as the source of female orgasm by men or even by women. Even with all the publicity the clitoris has had, heterosexual women still have little awareness of it. The indisputable anatomical evidence that the clitoris is the equivalent organ to the penis, is simply ignored. Sociable activity is based on penetration. Men are aroused in anticipation of penetration partly because of their sex drive but also because of the significant pleasure of penetrating a lover with an erect penis. The clitoris cannot be used to penetrate a lover nor is it an orifice that can be penetrated. This is why most heterosexual couples are unaware of its existence.
Misunderstandings over cunnilingus arise primarily because of the belief that women are aroused by the prospect of sexual activity exactly as men are. If women were aroused with a lover, they would not need to wait for a lover to provide the correct stimulation. The arousal technique a woman uses when masturbating alone (of using fantasy to put herself psychologically in the position of the penetrator) does not work with a lover. Cunnilingus equates to sucking on a limp penis that remains flaccid throughout the activity. There is no point in stimulating a person who is not aroused mentally. We must be aroused before stimulation is effective.
The clitoral glans has double the nerve endings of the penile glans. This means that manual stimulation of the clitoral glans by a lover is irritating or uncomfortable and can even be painful without lubrication. If a man was unaroused, stimulating his penile glans might also provide little pleasure.
The penis and the clitoris may start off the same in the early days of foetal development. But later the genital tubercle develops into two very different organs depending on the sex of the foetus. It's not just that the penis is substantially bigger than the clitoris. What is confusing is that the clitoris is not immediately pleasurable to touch as the penis is. A man is acutely aware of his penis. Most women don't even know that they have a clitoris. The clitoral organ is largely internal and, even with mental arousal, the clitoris only ever becomes tumescent rather than erect as the penis does.
A man's corpora cavernosa are inside the penis and run the length of the shaft. Any stimulation of the shaft that replicates intercourse (by being warm and wet) is highly pleasurable. A woman's corpora cavernosa are located inside the clitoral organ. Cunnilingus only stimulates the glans of the clitoris, which is not especially pleasurable to touch.
The sensations of a lover's tongue do not provide the kind of clitoral stimulation that causes female orgasm. Orgasm occurs as a result of massaging the blood flow within the internal organ (not the glans or the labia). A responsive woman uses the fingers of both hands to firmly massage the internal organ by pressing down into …