Really? The Wacky World of Meeting Women on the Internet

I rejoined Match.com a few days ago. I've belonged to Match 4-5 times since the early 2000's. I rejoined because they have the largest database of potential partners. Before I came back to Match, I was on a couple of smaller "niche" dating sites, but they just did not have enough members to be effective in what is essentially a numbers game.

At this point, I've recently only "dated" one person I've met on a dating site. I was more interested in her than she was in me, and we wound up friends, but she woke me up, lightly cracking me open to realize how much I want a partner in my life. But since I can't yet speak to the dating part on internet dating this time around, this article is going to focus on meeting people. It will also be focused on a man's perspective but I hope it will be useful to women as well.

The last time I was on Match, my inbox literally blew up with over 90 responses to my profile in a couple of days, and that is happening again as I'm writing this. I don't attribute that to me being some kind of fabulous guy (although I think I am!). I think the real reasons my inbox blows up are twofold: One, as a professional writer and a men's and couple's counselor, I write a really good profile, and I'd like to think that's part of it, but I also think it's because I'm fresh meat.

Fresh, red meat. To quote the Eagles, " There's a New Kid in Town ." The ladies are aged, yes but there's a huge market of women 60 and older, divorced and widowed, that are looking for partners

I only need one. The right one.

Separated, Not Divorced

I don't just immediately jump in when a previous relationship ends. I've been married twice and my personal style is to get to know who I am as a single person again before I unfairly foist myself on a new potential partner. As a consequence, I'm somewhat amazed that a portion of the women who initiate contact with me are only separated, their divorces not yet finalized.

I can't help but wonder how someone can proceed to move toward another relationship before their current relationship is complete. It may be over, but it's certainly not completed and it's doubtful that such a person has had an opportunity to fully heal. It's just too fast. My experience supports the idea that these are people who can't bear to be alone, and they invariably wind up carrying the problems of the last relationship into the new relationship, creating a cycle of broken relationships. When I'm contacted by one of these women, I politely decline engagement as I'm not interested in dating someone who is still married. This is not a moral judgment. It's a discernment based on knowledge of how things usually work. Not always, of course, but who wants …

Bosses Need Gift Of Better Meeting Leadership

Studies show millions of meetings are held each day in the United States and that thousands of dollars are spent per meeting hour where the meetings include multiple executives as attendees. Are all these meetings a business investment or a waste of time? Sadly many of those same studies indicate the managers attending the meetings felt up to half their time investment was wasted. If meetings are important enough to hold, then why don't the bosses of the organization insist they be better lead?

Can the gift of better meetings be this year ultimate management prize? If meeting leaders can learn to accomplish more in the same amount of time or less, then the answer is most definitively yes. If the answer is yes, then how can this gift of better meetings come about?

There are lots of good training courses and books on meeting management. When looking for a good meeting leadership course, besides using the words "meeting management", search for courses that include some form of lead or facilitate in the course title. Sometimes meeting management course titles seem to be disguised as something else or the meeting training is a component in a larger package offered as a longer workshop. The benefit of taking a course is concentrated effort on learning the tools and techniques along with networking and ideas from other course participants who have the same business world experiences. The main disadvantage is time away from the job to attend the course, which is why many do not take advantage of this formal training option.

Reading and following a book on meeting management is a viable alternative to formal training, if the meeting leader commits to following the guidelines and the book includes examples or usable forms. One option with examples and forms is the new book "RA! RA! A Meeting Wizard's Approach" (ISBN 1-4196-5367-9). This book and others on meeting management may be bought through Amazon or ordered from bookstores. The primary advantage of informal learning from a book is that it is portable and may be read on or off work hours using small segments of scattered time rather than consecutive hours. Books often include the same benefit of tips, tools, and techniques but in a different format than found in a formal course. The disadvantage could be the lack of networking and discussion with other course participants who are learning the meeting leadership material at the same time. However, this disadvantage may be overcome by forming a book study group at the jobsite or having a regular meeting team explore the book's materials and learn better meeting management together.

Going back to the meeting studies, they also show that the number of meetings is increasing and their duration is too. To save dollars, time, and management worry – offer bosses the gift of better meetings as a direction towards higher profits and increased productivity. Better meetings lead to more productive employees, less time and dollar cost wasted, and less cost means higher …