Why Women Do Not Orgasm From Cunnilingus

Kinsey established that the clitoris was the female sex organ. But it has not been accepted as the source of female orgasm by men or even by women. Even with all the publicity the clitoris has had, heterosexual women still have little awareness of it. The indisputable anatomical evidence that the clitoris is the equivalent organ to the penis, is simply ignored. Sociable activity is based on penetration. Men are aroused in anticipation of penetration partly because of their sex drive but also because of the significant pleasure of penetrating a lover with an erect penis. The clitoris cannot be used to penetrate a lover nor is it an orifice that can be penetrated. This is why most heterosexual couples are unaware of its existence.

Misunderstandings over cunnilingus arise primarily because of the belief that women are aroused by the prospect of sexual activity exactly as men are. If women were aroused with a lover, they would not need to wait for a lover to provide the correct stimulation. The arousal technique a woman uses when masturbating alone (of using fantasy to put herself psychologically in the position of the penetrator) does not work with a lover. Cunnilingus equates to sucking on a limp penis that remains flaccid throughout the activity. There is no point in stimulating a person who is not aroused mentally. We must be aroused before stimulation is effective.

The clitoral glans has double the nerve endings of the penile glans. This means that manual stimulation of the clitoral glans by a lover is irritating or uncomfortable and can even be painful without lubrication. If a man was unaroused, stimulating his penile glans might also provide little pleasure.

The penis and the clitoris may start off the same in the early days of foetal development. But later the genital tubercle develops into two very different organs depending on the sex of the foetus. It's not just that the penis is substantially bigger than the clitoris. What is confusing is that the clitoris is not immediately pleasurable to touch as the penis is. A man is acutely aware of his penis. Most women don't even know that they have a clitoris. The clitoral organ is largely internal and, even with mental arousal, the clitoris only ever becomes tumescent rather than erect as the penis does.

A man's corpora cavernosa are inside the penis and run the length of the shaft. Any stimulation of the shaft that replicates intercourse (by being warm and wet) is highly pleasurable. A woman's corpora cavernosa are located inside the clitoral organ. Cunnilingus only stimulates the glans of the clitoris, which is not especially pleasurable to touch.

The sensations of a lover's tongue do not provide the kind of clitoral stimulation that causes female orgasm. Orgasm occurs as a result of massaging the blood flow within the internal organ (not the glans or the labia). A responsive woman uses the fingers of both hands to firmly massage the internal organ by pressing down into …

Why Women Cannot Orgasm Through Intercourse

Orgasm is vital to men, so it is assumed to be equally vital for women.

(1) A woman is impregnated regardless of orgasm

Male orgasm triggers ejaculation, which is needed for reproduction. A woman cannot ejaculate because she lacks the male glands. Since ovulation occurs automatically, there is no reason for a woman to orgasm at any time.

(2) Women need emotional factors to be amenable to intercourse

Men are aroused by intercourse regardless of emotional factors. This is because orgasm occurs as a result of psychological arousal and physical stimulation. An erotic stimulus causes arousal regardless of emotional circumstances. Women are not aroused by opportunities for intercourse because there is nothing erotic about being impregnated. The emotional environment of rape is certainly very different to consensual intercourse. But the physical stimulation of rape is not so different. It is not possible for an act that causes women so much distress to also cause sexual arousal.

(3) Women are meant to be unresponsive with a lover

Women's reproductive role is to co-operate with intercourse until a man ejaculates. If women could orgasm through their own efforts or if they were motivated to stimulate a lover (by hand or by mouth), intercourse would be less likely and reproduction therefore less successful. Men think women should always want intercourse. When women find intercourse unarousing, they assume that there must be something wrong with them. But intercourse is only erotic from a male (penetrator) perspective.

(4) Intercourse is totally defined by male responses

No one can orgasm within time constraints that are determined by another person's orgasm. The stimulation of intercourse starts with male erection and ends with male ejaculation. A receiver of intercourse (the person being penetrated) cannot achieve orgasm from stimulation that is provided for an indeterminate length of time. Intercourse relies only on the male penetrator being aroused (having an erection). A receiver never needs to be aroused.

(5) Orgasm ends sexual activity that is focused on achieving it

Any activity that culminates in orgasm, naturally ends once a person has achieved orgasm. This explains why men lose interest in continuing sexual activity once they have had an orgasm. If women were as responsive as men, then logically for about half the time sexual activity would end with a woman's orgasm. But for reproductive reasons, a woman has to be willing to allow intercourse to continue until a man ejaculates.

(6) Women orgasm much less frequently than men do

Orgasm does not occur like pressing a button. Each person experiences orgasm with a specific frequency. Women orgasm on average once every two weeks regardless of age. Men orgasm much more frequently than women. It is not possible for a woman to orgasm every time a man does.

(7) Women need more time to orgasm than men do

Men masturbate to orgasm within 1 minute or so. Intercourse may be more satisfying but the stimulation is more indirect. So it takes them longer. Most men (three-quarters of them) orgasm on average …