What’s Your Online Dating Beauty Rank? Take the Quiz!

Recently, I overheard my girlfriend Lisa leaving a babbling message on a guy’s answering machine after a first date. Even though things went well, Lisa was a bundle of self-doubt and nerves as she talked herself into thinking he might not call again. I was dumbfounded at the confusing, negative voicemail. The long and short of it is that Lisa ended up spoiling things with this new man before they even got started.

Are You Sabotaging Your Love Life?

When I asked my girlfriend what that message was all about, Lisa shrugged her shoulders and said it wasn’t going to last anyway. If I had been coaching Lisa, a beautiful, smart, funny, independent woman who is a great catch, I would have asked how she felt about herself before posting a profile on the dating sites.

To me, she had some clear barriers preventing her from letting things unfold naturally with a man. By all outward appearances, Lisa is a beautiful woman, but my guess is she doesn’t feel quite so attractive on the inside.

Many people dating online think it’s all about the profile photo (yes, that’s important too) and profile. That’s why many singles might overlook the importance of being emotionally ready to date. Your inner chatter in your head and heart determines your potential for relationship success that begins with online dating.

Feeling strong, exuding genuine self-confidence, being ready to risk falling in love or getting rejected are all emotional qualities that create your unique inner beauty that often overshadows your looks.

It’s a Chicken and Egg Thing – NOT!

A lot of women tell me they’ll feel better about themselves after they meet a great guy. They’re expecting a new man to make their life better or fill a void. With compassion, I explain to my clients how they are likely wasting time with this approach. You need to feel good about yourself first or it will be next to impossible to attract the quality man you desire. As a single woman looking for love, you are the only one who can turn this around.

Take the Inner Beauty Quiz

A quick way to know if you’re emotionally ready for online dating is to take my Inner Beauty Quiz. Answer yes or no to the following questions.

  1. You feel upset when you have one great date and never hear from the guy again
  2. His texting for weeks shows genuine interest in you
  3. When a man is rude on a first date, it brings up anger from previous men you dated or had relationships with
  4. You email on the dating sites with men for weeks waiting to meet them
  5. You are in touch with 8-10 men, keeping them all going in case any of them ask you out
  6. When a man stops emailing before you get to meet, you feel sad and rejected
  7. When a man sees you twice, then stops calling and texting, you often wonder if it was something you did wrong
  8. When you go

Common Dating Challenges for Women Over 40

Anybody getting back in the dating world will find they encounter many challenges. But for women over 40, the challenges are different. After all, things have changed since they were in their 20's, when life was more carefree and simple. Here are a few of the most common concerns when entering the dating world.

I'm not a size 4. Will anyone be attracted to me?
If you think like this you need to do the inner work to get to a place of confidence and comfort with who you are. There are many women who are not strikingly beautiful, long or lean and yet they are married to wonderful men who love who they are and how they look. Stop wasting your energy worrying about looking different and start being different! Radiate the essence of who you really are and you will start attracting smart, relationship-minded men who are looking for a sharp, compassionate, fun-loving person like you!

How do I meet singles around my age?
You have to put yourself out there, especially in places that are of interest to you – classes, sporting events, book stores, political organizations, gyms and clubs. Once you're with people, start up a conversation by asking a question, offering an opinion or seeking some kind of help. Be sure to make eye contact, smile and show you are interested in the conversation. You can do that by paraphrasing what's being said and by keeping your body language open and receptive. Remember, nothing gained, nothing lost if you don't meet someone. At the very least, you are socializing and honing your skills!

I can't seem to get past first dates. What am I doing wrong?
You must be doing or saying something that is turning off your dates. See if any of these ring true for you:

Are you coming across too needy or desperate? That would cause your partner to find you unappealing or intimidating.
Are you talking too much? It's always a good idea to limit your responses and be a good listener so you don't dominate the entire conversation.
As a woman, are you offering to pay your way too soon? As a man, are you expecting a woman to pay her own way? Most men feel they want to be in control of the first date and like being generous and chivalrous.
Are you picking a partner who isn't the right "fit" for you?
Are you sending negative vibes about what you don't like about him / her – and your partner senses it?
Is your voice tone or body language cold or stand-offish?
Are you overstepping healthy physical or verbal boundaries without realizing it?
Are you sharing too much about yourself and not leaving anything to your date's imagination?
Are you too negative, cynical or sarcastic about dating and relationships and letting that come across?

Dating should be a fun and exciting experience and if you plan ahead, are aware of what you think and how you feel and …

3 Important Dating Tips For Women Over 60

Dating over sixty is supposed to be very satisfying. You need companionship, love and a shoulder to lean on through all. Women who are over 60 get into dating to pillar their lives and to enjoy their senior years in the appropriate company. Considering that there are fewer responsibilities at sixty, maybe because children are all grown up and have left home, there is so much idle time in the life of a woman who is over 60. Getting into a new relationship can be of immense value to such a woman. But to truly be happy dating again after 60, there are a few things that you must remember and stick to.

1. Never feel too old for your man – Whether you decide to date men your age or younger men who are interested in you, never ever feel too old or like you are not worthy anymore. Men love women who remain confident about themselves, even when signs of aging are evident on their skins. Choose outfits that flatter you, but remain comfortable for you and decent. You should also not try too hard to hide your aging but instead have a way appearing as though you are aging gracefully. Smile more and let your fun side show. You also should try as much as possible to remember that your man loves you the way you are and you do not need to go to the extremes trying to change into the person you think he wants.

2. Remember, you are not desperate – Nothing can be worse than a woman over 60 who appears desperate and too clingy. Give the relationship time to mature in the most natural way, no matter how badly you might be needing company and to be showered with love. Play it cool and find other things to do with your time to create a good distance with your man so the relationship grows and thrives. With years of experience in relationships, you are definitely what makes a relationship work and what makes it fail. Try to be modest about everything you do with regards to the relationship and never feel like you are in a rush for anything because you are not. You are actually allowed to play hard to get even at your age!

3. Understand there are things you cannot do anymore – When you are over 60, your energy levels may be down and this means there are things you may not be able to execute as you did before when you are in a relationship. You may not be able to maintain an intense workout regime as you did before so do not break your back trying to impress your man. You may also not be as flexible and wild in bed as you used to be so do only what you can comfortably handle without feeling embarrassed. You may not be as willing or able to go about clubbing and dancing as before but do not …

4 Online Dating Profile No No's For Women

This is an urgent message to any woman who uses online dating sites.

Online dating profile writing is a task, mostly because you are thinking about writing an out-standing profile more than writing about yourself that men would love to know. Okay, that's very vague too but you must do some research before just spitting out your resume on your online dating profile!

Revealing some of the worst online dating profile mistakes most women are probably making and some of them are instant deal killers!

Writing more than needed
Most profiles on online dating apps say a story that nobody is interested in reading past the first line. The first and most important thing women must know about men is they do not like too much talking, in case of online profiles, too much of writing. Men are known to have a short attention span and don't want to know so many details, that's what getting to know you should be all about. Men like short and to the point dating profiles, just like ESPN football summaries!

List writing
Are going grocery shopping? "I'm looking for a man who likes traveling, dogs, food, children …". You write a list of everything your ideal man needs to be and everything you are. Of course, you have a list but that's not meant to be on your dating profile! Save it for the time when you genuinely start thinking about a guy, your dating profile is not even the first step!

Being Pretentious
Showing off and telling about yourself are two very clearly noticeable differences anyone could tell. Like we women don't like men who show off and are pretentious about their so-called happening life, men too hate pretentious bitches! You need not have a flashy wardrobe, makeup or cars screaming from your profile and pictures. The last thing you want if the guy to find out who you are in real and then leave. Show who you really are and you will attract the right kind of male traffic on every online dating website.

Being to Generic
Yes, this point is the one that scares every woman out and then we start to do all the wrong things to make our profile noticeable. On any online dating app, look at 10 random profiles right now, I bet you'll find surprising similarities! Everyone wants to show they're -Fun, adventurous, love traveling, eating out and of course, taking walks along the beach! It's like the hobby section of every resume – reading, music, traveling!

You may be doing these but don't make them sound so generic, make the ordinary extraordinary. For example, "I'm adventurous" doesn't tell me anything, however by writing "I'm taking flying lessons" you've got my attention. To stand out in the online crowd you need a profile that is unique and compelling.

The profile is just about whetting the appetite and giving men just enough to want to find out more about you. Avoid these instant deal killers and consider …

The Advantages and Disadvantages of Beauty in Love Relationships, Marriage, and Dating

Who wouldn't want to be beautiful? What is beauty? Perhaps, we have all given these questions consideration at one time or another. I would opt to be beautiful if given the choice. Based upon some of my observations of standard beauty, I know it would give me a competitive edge as would youth. I have followed a beautiful woman around all day, many days, to see what it is like to be praised and admired by those people a beautiful woman meets. I have observed others in order to learn about the pros and cons of having an attractive appearance.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Anyone could potentially be beautiful according to another person. Some people prefer blondes. Others prefer tanned skin. Even others prefer tall people. Everyone has his own preferences; yet, there are some people who have facial and body proportions that are considered beautiful by the majority. Those people who tend to fall into the category of standard beauty tend to get a lot of extra attention throughout the day.

The attention given to a beautiful woman is that of having all eyes on her and that of receiving many compliments. People will talk to her a lot, offer her free drinks, offer gifts, ask for her address, invite her out, and more. At least this is what I observed while following a beautiful woman around all day for many days. She received so many compliments that it became somewhat annoying even to her. People lavished her with much praise for about everything she did. As she conducted her job search, potential employers told her they were looking for someone who was beautiful. One employer said she wanted to hire someone with a "beautiful presence." Naturally, the beautiful woman found a job with no difficulty.

If being beautiful means a person can have more friends, find more jobs, and influence others, then it is clearlyly convenient to be beautiful. To be unattractive means that an individual has some proportions that are less standardized and more unusual. There are some obvious reasons why a person considered less attractive by the majority might benefit from the struggle to attract others. She will benefit by having to do her job better or by having to study diligently.

A person who is less attractive will be attractive to someone somewhere. He or she will have to work harder to prove himself in some areas or studies. In order to compete with the so-called "beautiful" person, the "average" person will have to go the extra mile. He or she might seek to be more courteous or creative. She might develop a special talent like art, singing, or a sport. Perhaps the less attractive individual will decide to read more books in order to be appreciated for her knowledge. She might become a learned person to prove herself. Those people who are not considered extremely beautiful will know what it feels to work hard to achieve something without relying upon …

Dating Advice for Women Over 40

It's safe to say that when you're over 40, the dating game changes significantly. You aren't imagining it. In fact, the challenges of dating for women over 40 are so specific that getting good advice is critical to finding love with less heartache, pain, and confusion. (Fact: over one-third of Americans over 40 are single, and more than 25 million of them are women.)

As a part of the over 40 category of daters, the same dating advice that works for 20 somethings is not always the same advice that you're seeking. Here's why:

  • As a woman over 40, your main focus is not necessarily getting married and having babies. You may have already been married, you may already have babies, or perhaps neither is true; but either one could be a non-issue.
  • The dating game has changed significantly since you dated in your twenties. Sexting. Texting. Internet dating. Speed ​​dating. Even matchmaking. All are viable alternatives in the 21st century. If you don't know how to use these tools or have a belief that only "losers" would use them, you may be sabotaging your success dramatically.
  • You aren't sure who to date when you're in your 40s. Is it appropriate to date men in their 30s? What about feeling like you aren't attracted to men in their sixties, the exact men who may be pursuing you the most online? Is it a must to find someone who's your age exactly and can recite lines from Gilligan's Island right alongside you?
  • What are your relationship goals? Are you looking to get married? Do you want to have kids? Are you simply looking for a serious relationship with Mr. Boyfriend Material?

Whatever your concerns, here are the keys to our advice for women over 40 in three short but sweet tips!

1. Use your dating experience in an appropriate way.

Whether you recently went through a messy divorce or have had several long-term relationships and are ready for a relationship, you probably have some (if not a great deal) of dating experience. As a dater who is over 40, you want to make sure you don't "leak" any of this energy or knowledge, negative or otherwise, into new relationships you find yourself in.

It's fine to remember things you've learned in past relationships, but it might be a good idea to check with a dating coach to ensure you're taking the right stuff with you! Avoiding making assumptions like "It happened before and therefore must happen again" can impact all your dating if you aren't armed with a clean slate before you jump into the dating pool.

2. Get yourself out there.

Have your friends been encouraging you to join that online dating site? Well, guess what? One out of every four people who are in a committed relationship or married met their significant others on an online dating site.

Remember that there are tons of good relationship-ready men who're going to be interested in you, but you need to meet …